Who is Responsible from Adult Children of Alcoholics (ACA)

People from dysfunctional background/families guess at what is normal! I did not have a clue at what was normal until I checked our ACA. I had been taught all my life to be responsible for, instead of to, others. This simple knowledge made a world of difference in my life.

Information from ACA (Adult Children of Alcoholics).

When I Feel Responsible FOR Others:

I fix – protect – rescue – control – carry their feelings – don’t listen

I feel – tired – anxious – fearful – liable

I am concerned with: the solution – answers – circumstances – being right – details – performance

I am a manipulator

I expect the person to live up to my expectations.

When I Feel Responsible TO Others:

I show empathy – encourage – share – confront – level – am sensitive – listen

I feel – relaxed – free – aware – high self-esteem

I am concerned with : relating person to person – feelings – the person

I believe if I just share myself, the other person has enough to make it

I am a helper-guide

I expect the person to be responsible for himself and his own actions

I can trust and let go