Who is Responsible from Adult Children of Alcoholics (ACA)
People from dysfunctional background/families guess at what is normal! I did not have a clue at what was normal until I checked our ACA. I had been taught all my life to be responsible for, instead of to, others. This simple knowledge made a world of difference in my life.
Information from ACA (Adult Children of Alcoholics).
When I Feel Responsible FOR Others:
I fix – protect – rescue – control – carry their feelings – don’t listen
I feel – tired – anxious – fearful – liable
I am concerned with: the solution – answers – circumstances – being right – details – performance
I am a manipulator
I expect the person to live up to my expectations.
When I Feel Responsible TO Others:
I show empathy – encourage – share – confront – level – am sensitive – listen
I feel – relaxed – free – aware – high self-esteem
I am concerned with : relating person to person – feelings – the person
I believe if I just share myself, the other person has enough to make it
I am a helper-guide
I expect the person to be responsible for himself and his own actions
I can trust and let go